Take Life by the Helm

I don’t blame any who live in the past,

For sometimes I just want moments to last.

Change is hard and some just deny it,

But I shall face and mortify it.

Change is hard, but need not be bad

For new things can excite and make one feel glad.

What is simple and easy wears a mask

And joy comes upon completion of a difficult task.

Nostalgia, at times, is good in which to wander,

But life happens once and shan’t be squandered.

We must take life by the helm*

For it is just once that we are in this realm.

History must continue to be made.

If not, we waste time which God to us gave.

Accountable is what we are,

So we need not spend life wishing on a star.

I have gifts and talents to use.

I have time I need not abuse.

Though I may wish to step into the past,

I shall take life by the helm, and not by its mast!

*Title of a speech given by Doug Nielson at an entrepreneurship seminar

~Poem written on 11/19/2011

There and Back Again

A Poemist’s Tale by Smelly Ogre

Three suitcases,

Three sticks of deodorant,

And three flights later…

This chicka returned to her place of origin.

It was the best—going far west

Across the ocean blue.

She got a passport for fun of all sorts

And 15 time zones away she flew.

First was Hong Kong—she didn’t stay long

But, oh!  What a beautiful view.

Next was Shenzhen—learned counting to ten

And had her first duck to chew.

Singin’ her song, she went to Zhenjiang

To the best liaison and school she knew.

Her students were cutest.  Though some couldn’t be muted,

She loved them all anywho.

So much to explore; how could she want more?

She always found something new

And went lots of places with the crew:

Nanjing was first—thanks to church

How they loved to go themselves to renew.

At their Shanghai debut, they learned some Kung Fu

And saw Western seats in the loo.

They went to Xitang—got their Mission Impossible on

Trav’ling in China they hadn’t a clue.

On the way to Xian, the train floor a girl peed on

(Good thing they stocked lots of tissue).

That trip—their trav’ling breakthrough!

Stairs up Huangshan, more rainy than planned…

But the scene with awe them imbued.

Suzhou* was chill—wand’ring at will.

In Yangzhou they went to the zoo.

And her trip to Beijing where she did her own thing

Was what her whole time in China led up to.  

The time arrived when she said goodbye.

With this she had an issue.

She had made lots of friends and didn’t want it to end

But her time was nigh overdue.

For she fell in love (what a blessing from above)

With a land that is home to bamboo.

Needing a last hurrah, grateful for what she saw,

She re-gifted some Asian shampoo.

Then she said, “中国, Adieu.  We’ll keep in touch on QQ!”

She went slightly insane getting on that plane,

But she made it back in one piece, not two.

And now she is back with many a task,

Unsure of what will ensue.

But she’ll say, “China, I miss you.

I will always remember our grand adventure

For you taught me things of great value.”

But what strikes her most—of such she can boast,

Is how much her life has been moved.

Hobbit-Style Door Reminiscence

*Indicates a breach in the chronological order of the trips she took.

Remember When

When you say that you won’t come back from China like your Asian brother, make sure one of your qualifications doesn't involve returning with Asian shampoo...because someone might just give you some as a gift…

And then you'll either have to take it home or evaluate your opinion on re-gifting…

When you think there’s a giant slug that’s invaded your room and you wonder how it made it to the 7^th floor, don't freak out.  Remember the bruise on your banana you threw away earlier…

When you bring a poncho to Shanghai, be sure to make sure it wasn't made for armless people…in case you want it to be an effective shield against the rain…

When you like the fish on your plate more than the egg dish, just remember that you are in a place very different from the place where you grew up…

When you feel guilty that someone’s paying for all of your stuff one day, remember the driving force in Chinese culture that cannot be stopped…

When a cat tries to enter your office late at night while you're there using the internet, remember that it’s just a cat…who might have rabies, but who is most likely harmless…

When you're feeling sad about saying goodbye, remember that having a difficult time doing so means you have a lot to love…

When you don’t know how to return to the life you knew before, remember the life you've lived the longest and remember that you can do ANYTHING!

Heck, you lived in China!

Capacity to Create

Making friends with the lunch ladies

Making the rickshaw dudes crack up because you're laughing really hard to yourself at something that happened last week

Making do with the fact that there is still PDA in Asia despite what you were led to believe

Making someone's day when you come back to his restaurant or pastry stand

Making students feel uncomfortable because you're staring at them to see if they'll blink

Making the guard worry that you'll drown in the pond that doesn't even go to your knees

Making sure that there is always a little cRaZy in every class

Making your students' lives when you tap dance for them

Making the world fill with smiles

Who Am I?

I'm the crazy girl who wears short sleeves when everyone else is wearing sixty-seven coats.  

I'm the girl singing on the street.  

I'm the girl who is terrified of getting vocal nodes. 

I'm the girl who names Chinese children "Diego" and "Carlos."  (Carlos is a very sweet boy, by the way).

I'm the girl who arm wrestles and has staring contests with her students. 

I'm the girl who encourages crazyness in the classroom.  

I'm the girl who once could remember names better than anyone but now has a thousand names (literally) to remember.  

I'm the girl who radiates in China.  

I'm the girl who gets excited about public transportation and fast trains.

I'm the girl who comes closest to falling in the river or getting stuck in the head of a giant golden lady.  

I'm the girl who craves spontaneity. 

I'm the girl who tap dances in the rain next to the lake in the middle of Nanjing because she can and because she loves it there.

I'm the girl who will not have her independence stifled.

I'm the girl who protests waiting in line to pee.

I'm the girl who won't use an umbrella in this country.

I'm the girl who rehearses phrases in Chinese so that she can say them to people.  For example, "This is my favorite bakery" and "I like your pants."  

I'm the girl who finds that she doesn't hate things in China as much as she hates them in America such as pop culture and shopping.  

I'm the girl who plays with all the children at KFC and makes faces at all children everywhere.

I'm the girl who has issues when people say "flue" instead of "chimney," "penfriend" instead of "penpal," or "canteen" instead of "cafeteria."

I'm the girl who has three new pen pals that are 7th grade students named Simon, Henry, and Kingsley.

I'm the girl who has replaced Facebook with QQ.

I'm the girl who came to China and learned that she loves maps!  

I'm the girl who is always starving by dinner time.

I'm the girl who is determined to like chicken feet to some degree.

I'm the girl who has the hardest time dealing with beggars because of her tender heart.

I'm the girl who stinks at bartering.

I'm the girl who reciprocates her students' openness.

I'm the girl who sings to herself to comfort her soul.

I'm the girl whose heart can't bear the idea that people would want to take advantage of others...especially for a few kuai.

I'm the girl who sings everyone to sleep at sleepovers. 

I'm the girl at whom everyone stares because she's smiling and she's not from around here (plus she's usually dancing).

I'm the girl at whom everyone stares even more blatantly because she runs without a jacket on.  

I'm the girl who has a fan club of old people who dance at the park every day.

I'm the girl who is falling in love with China!

Perspective

Sometimes when you think you've stained your bedspread with the water from your pink birthday flowers...

you've really only made apparent the fact that your duvet is red...

Sometimes when you've tried several times to unlock your office at night without success...

you psyche yourself out and assume someone's lurking in there to lock you out...

but really you just stink at unlocking the door...

 

Sometimes when you think you just taught the worst lesson of your life...

you've really just learned how being a teacher works...

Sometimes when you are exceedingly intrigued about a building and want to find what's at the top...

it turns out to be seven flights of department stores...

with some excitingly sketchy staircases...

Sometimes when you feel like a failure who could never meet anyone's expectations...

you need to remember that you are capable of anything...even if it takes a lot of work...

Sometimes when you worry that your students won't like you...

you don't need to because they will love you before you say anything...

Sometimes when you think you've traveled across the world to a foreign land, culture, and language....

you have...

but there are still universalities, such as classic cafeteria mystery meat...

 

Sometimes when you're pushed out of your comfort zone...

you have to work hard to make a new comfort zone...

but, in so doing, you will find a happy place...

Things will always turn out alright in the end...

But remembering that they will is the tricky part.
 

Everyone

I think about everyone...

As I post this from my email because I'm too cheap for a VPN

As I watch the green lasers in the Symphony of Lights show across the harbor

As I look at wrinkly, caveman depictions of early settlers of Hong Kong

As I sing loudly on the ferry across the harbor

As I spend the longest time out of thirty-five home-dawgs reading every plaque in the history museum

As I learn that the Japanese bombed Hong Kong in December 1941 and I wonder how I could live my whole life without knowing that

As I realize how grateful I am that I brought tissues and hand sanitizer to Asia

As I get sick of malls, stores, and markets faster than everyone else

As I ride cable cars above the harbor and into the mountains

As I eat delicious Indian food and learn that I love naan

As I rave about how efficient the subway system is here and how one day I hope Utah will understand and America will ditch the car idea and adopt the subway

As I take pictures of all the recycling bins I see

As my roommates buy converters from the street market for two American dollars

As I become best friends with the Chinese teenagers that accompany our group on our adventures

As I climb stairs faster than necessary just because I can

As I realize how big the world is and how small I am...

And how grateful I am for all the good and wonderful people in every continent!  

Sometimes One Takes One's Motion-Sickness-Prone Self Out of One's Deserty Bubble to a Humid Climate

Three flights.
Three boarding passes.
Three airplanes.

Three journeys through security.
Two in the good ol' USA.
One in frozen Korea.

The first stamp in my passport is next to my one and only visa.

That's right.  This girl made it 15 time zones away and got to skip Single-Awareness Day altogether.  Take that, world!  Ironically, after over 17 hours on a plane she died on the bus.  You see, Hong Kong, like Provo, enjoys round-abouts...or the Asian equivalents of such.  So this motion-sick girl could not handle the bus...much like all those times she tried to take the bus between the blue and red counties back home...

The good news is Hong Kong knows it's my birthday, Korean people and Korean Air are beautiful, and there are dragons in the malls here!  Watch out HK, here I come!  I will conquer your humid climate...

And adventurize your guts out!

Once Upon a Time a Nonconformist Took a Holiday

Well folks, it appears as though my nonconformist took a vacation as of late.  
Perhaps it's because I'm leaving the country for the first time tomorrow so I feel the need to belong somewhere.  
Perhaps Blogger is a way to fill the void of sharing my thoughts on the inter-web.   
Peradventure it makes me feel more connected to the world, even though I've mostly detached myself from pop culture recently (Victory!).  
Maybe going on adventures causes people to justify abandoning some of their less strict principles such as not buying fashionable things like golden-yellow skinny pants and a star shirt with sequins.  
Perchance these less-than-ironclad principles were not reasonably founded in the first place.  
Perhaps that part of me that's wanted a blog for eons for the sake of publishing the Conceited Journal finally won the struggle within my soul.  
Suppose the reason is a schmorgasborge of all of the above.  
Maybe this is the way to learn how to spell crazy words like "schmorgasborge" or invent my own spelling! 
The World Wide Web is MINE...and everyone else's, but yes.  That was my substitute for "the world is mine," but that too belongs to everybody...FOILED AGAIN!  Oh well...
Since I've transitioned from pondering the secrets of life to being my usual crazy self so successfully, we can now appreciate the contrast in this post which creates depth and meaning...
Now I'm just making stuff up...
Except not really...  
I think this post excellently exemplifies my exceedingly eccentric essence.  (How's that for assonance, eh?)
Well, I hope you like to put ninjas in your jello and frogs in your cakes, otherwise you are missing out on some of the greatest things life has to offer.
Yours,
Smelly Ogre
Baking Fairy in Training