There and Back Again

A Poemist’s Tale by Smelly Ogre

Three suitcases,

Three sticks of deodorant,

And three flights later…

This chicka returned to her place of origin.

It was the best—going far west

Across the ocean blue.

She got a passport for fun of all sorts

And 15 time zones away she flew.

First was Hong Kong—she didn’t stay long

But, oh!  What a beautiful view.

Next was Shenzhen—learned counting to ten

And had her first duck to chew.

Singin’ her song, she went to Zhenjiang

To the best liaison and school she knew.

Her students were cutest.  Though some couldn’t be muted,

She loved them all anywho.

So much to explore; how could she want more?

She always found something new

And went lots of places with the crew:

Nanjing was first—thanks to church

How they loved to go themselves to renew.

At their Shanghai debut, they learned some Kung Fu

And saw Western seats in the loo.

They went to Xitang—got their Mission Impossible on

Trav’ling in China they hadn’t a clue.

On the way to Xian, the train floor a girl peed on

(Good thing they stocked lots of tissue).

That trip—their trav’ling breakthrough!

Stairs up Huangshan, more rainy than planned…

But the scene with awe them imbued.

Suzhou* was chill—wand’ring at will.

In Yangzhou they went to the zoo.

And her trip to Beijing where she did her own thing

Was what her whole time in China led up to.  

The time arrived when she said goodbye.

With this she had an issue.

She had made lots of friends and didn’t want it to end

But her time was nigh overdue.

For she fell in love (what a blessing from above)

With a land that is home to bamboo.

Needing a last hurrah, grateful for what she saw,

She re-gifted some Asian shampoo.

Then she said, “中国, Adieu.  We’ll keep in touch on QQ!”

She went slightly insane getting on that plane,

But she made it back in one piece, not two.

And now she is back with many a task,

Unsure of what will ensue.

But she’ll say, “China, I miss you.

I will always remember our grand adventure

For you taught me things of great value.”

But what strikes her most—of such she can boast,

Is how much her life has been moved.

Hobbit-Style Door Reminiscence

*Indicates a breach in the chronological order of the trips she took.

Remember When

When you say that you won’t come back from China like your Asian brother, make sure one of your qualifications doesn't involve returning with Asian shampoo...because someone might just give you some as a gift…

And then you'll either have to take it home or evaluate your opinion on re-gifting…

When you think there’s a giant slug that’s invaded your room and you wonder how it made it to the 7^th floor, don't freak out.  Remember the bruise on your banana you threw away earlier…

When you bring a poncho to Shanghai, be sure to make sure it wasn't made for armless people…in case you want it to be an effective shield against the rain…

When you like the fish on your plate more than the egg dish, just remember that you are in a place very different from the place where you grew up…

When you feel guilty that someone’s paying for all of your stuff one day, remember the driving force in Chinese culture that cannot be stopped…

When a cat tries to enter your office late at night while you're there using the internet, remember that it’s just a cat…who might have rabies, but who is most likely harmless…

When you're feeling sad about saying goodbye, remember that having a difficult time doing so means you have a lot to love…

When you don’t know how to return to the life you knew before, remember the life you've lived the longest and remember that you can do ANYTHING!

Heck, you lived in China!

Sometimes One Takes One's Motion-Sickness-Prone Self Out of One's Deserty Bubble to a Humid Climate

Three flights.
Three boarding passes.
Three airplanes.

Three journeys through security.
Two in the good ol' USA.
One in frozen Korea.

The first stamp in my passport is next to my one and only visa.

That's right.  This girl made it 15 time zones away and got to skip Single-Awareness Day altogether.  Take that, world!  Ironically, after over 17 hours on a plane she died on the bus.  You see, Hong Kong, like Provo, enjoys round-abouts...or the Asian equivalents of such.  So this motion-sick girl could not handle the bus...much like all those times she tried to take the bus between the blue and red counties back home...

The good news is Hong Kong knows it's my birthday, Korean people and Korean Air are beautiful, and there are dragons in the malls here!  Watch out HK, here I come!  I will conquer your humid climate...

And adventurize your guts out!