Signs of a Recent Return

You may have recently returned from a mission in South America if...

You cross the street and stop in the middle of the road.
Your casual walk is thrice the pace of those around you.
Words like "niño", "bueno", or "nosotros" just slip right out of your mouth.
You contact people who are waiting for the bus on your way to church.
You ask, "Among all the books you've read this year, did you read the Book of Mormon?"
You give besos to girls on the cheek when you greet them.
You feel weird when you are alone with your brother's roommate.
You feel most comfortable in the Spanish Branch.
You want to make sure there's another female present before entering any house.
You put the knives and forks on the same side while setting the table.
You only want to listen to Christmas music and watch churchy videos.
You feel like you should have a companion in order to visit people.
You want bread to accompany your meals.
You dish the food on the plates before you serve them.
You keep checking to make sure you didn't lose your name tag.
You sing church and Christmas songs in Spanish all day.
You eat more at lunch than at any other meal.
You prefer washing dishes by hand.
You're not afraid to talk to sketchy-looking people.
You have a low cold-tolerance.
You have no idea what movies or songs have come out recently.
You cannot for the life of you end a conversation in English on the telephone.
You need to talk things out with a companion.
You don't realize that people have started dating other people since you've been gone,
And you forget how normal social interaction goes,
But don't worry.  
You've always been awkward.  
This is just a new variety.

Argentina

The place that you miss every day you're away;
The place....
Where you begin your life of spray-on and roly-poly deodorants.
Where knocking on the doors means clapping.
Where they burn the basura.
Where bread accompanies every meal,
Where the meat is the best part, but you are so excited to eat broccoli.
Where you wish everyone just knew the Law of Chastity.
Where there are kiosks on every block.
Where lunch is the big meal.
Where each region has a distinct accent and its own tune.
Where everything is affirmed, pues,
Where the "s"' are dropped.
Where you are overjoyed when you find a recycling bin.
Where you feel like a legit missionary with your tag flapping and your skirt blowing as you travel the dirt roads.
Where you could win a speed-walking competition every day.
Where there is dulce de leche!
Where there are facturas.
Where the dogs reproduce like rabbits.
Where you help people repent and feel joy.
Where no one answers the door during the siesta.
Where you can watch someone kill a chicken in her yard.
Where grass is cut with machetes and weed-whackers.
Where your milk comes in a bag and it's almost impossible not to spill.
Where you are eaten alive by mosquitoes,
And your knees are whiter than Wonder bread,
But you don't even care
Because you love it there!

Al Gran Pueblo Argentino, Salud!

This pretty much sums up how I feel about Argentina.